No thing is ever easy

I try to see if there will be ever an easy way for anything. I do not believe there is. It is apparent more and more clearly everyday. And working hard at anything still is no guarantee that the end justifies the means, or effort.

So just to continue the dance?

Pointless to change the music, for the movement never ends.

Weary is worse than tired in a deeper way than anyone wants to think about. And then when do you know which way is the way back up and out of it?

Good Times

So I thought there should be something happy for a change considering I had let myself fall into the teenage philosophical angst trap;) We had the children's show SchoolHouse Rock on Saturday the 18th. It went really well. I'm so proud of the Music Theatre class. They really made huge improvements in the last few weeks. Having Old Bridge elementary come last Wed. to see them helped immensely. And a parent form McCauliffe elementary school wants to see about us coming to do the show for their kids. Hurrah!!!!!!! Just what I was hoping for, a chance for these kids to "tour" the show a little.
And I'm enjoying being busy because things are going relatively well. Oz rehearsals are moving along and we've been doing rehearsals for the dinner fundraiser music revue thingy. the students I chose for that are the perfect combination for this type of thing. They really seem to be having a great time with it. And they think it's really neat to be doing the same thing that I'm doing. whatever makes them happy I guess;)
Day off today, presidents day. Catch up on some work here and there and try to go out and have a little fun with friends. Life is good, and worth the philosophical angst.

Full stop

So it snowed last nite, as if anyone was in any doubt. I do love the snow, don't get me wrong. I just have a hard time dealing with the forced inactivity that snow produces here. I have been going non-stop, pushing myself to even go a little harder than normal, for the last 4 or 5 weeks. So then came the snow. No going out, and even if I did I wouldn't get very far;) God love these Woodbridge/Dale City hills! So there's very little physical activity, except to shovel. So that leaves the brain to thinking and moving.
Why does one's brain immediately gravitate to the things one wished MOST to not think on? Odd. It seems my life consists of running; whether to or from, but running nonetheless. Is it the same for all? Is perpetual motion of some type the norm? And how sad that no matter how fast you run; again whether to or from, you can never catch up, or truly escape. Perhaps the best way to achieve that is to pause, and wait, for a moment anyway.
Good heavens! snow does bring out the philosopher. Perhpas it is because I am stuck. I am between many things that I do not know how they arrived where they are, or I do and I'm trying to pretend I don't. Yes, obtuse, but deliberately so for now. sorry. I am in the middle of a road with 8 branches jutting from it and I don't really know if any of them are the right choice. I feel almost frozen, paralyzed, frustrated, angry, alone. In my heart I know I am not truly alone, but for this choice I think I must be.
I reread the last paragraph and part of me thinks I am spending too much time with high school kids:) So full angst and uncertainty; them and me. when is it we outgrow it? If it's never, that would really suck. I am normally an extremely happy and somewhat content individual. I don't always agree with where my life is leading, but I go and look for something new to keep me busy and still happy. Perhaps that's one of the roads I'm looking at. I just wish I knew which one it was.
Can you take a piece of your past and drag it forward into your present with any comfort? Or are supposed to hide from it and hope it doesn't see us?